I wish it was June already. I just want to be in Florida now!
The whole world has been against her. She’s become more of a punch line than a celebrity. Instead of celebrating with Lindsay about the small victories as you should with any type of addict (my step father was an alcoholic for 10 years) people have joked about how she can’t do it. I would cry too if someone finally told me to celebrate after spending so long being a joke.
The only thing I can think about is how long it’s going to take to get rid of all that glitter
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS???? THAT IS MOTHERFUCKING ART HERPES YOU UNDULATING SANCTIMONIOUS NIPPLE QUIVER.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT GLITTER IS MADE OF??? GLITTER IS SATAN CUM. THATS IT. IT IS SATANS SEMEN. DID YOU FUCK THE DEVIL? DID YOU? DID YOU? BECAUSE IF YOU DIDN’T ITS GONNA FEEL LIKE IT SINCE YOU’VE SLATHERED IT ALL OVER YOUR VARIOUS PARTS AND ORIFICES. YOU CAN SHOWER ALL YOU WANT BUT THE GOLD BEADS ARE GOING TO STAY WITH YOU TO THE GRAVE.
YOU’RE GONNA BE SIXTY FUCKIN YEARS OLD AND STILL PICKING SPARKLY SPECKS OUT OF YOUR COOCH. YOUR KIDS ARE GONNA POP OUT IN A SHOWER OF FUCKING CONFETTI BECAUSE YOU WERE FOOL ENOUGH TO COVER YOUR LOVE TACO IN GAY SPRINKLES. ANY MAN OR WOMAN THAT GRACES YOUR FUN BUN WITH HIS TONGUE IS GOING TO GET A GODDAMN MOUTHFUL OF FAIRY EXCREMENT AND NEVER WANT TO GO ANYWHERE NEAR THAT CAVERNOUS FRICTION TRAP AGAIN
YEAH, LAUGH RIGHT NOW. POST YOUR FUCKING HIPSTERY PICTURES AND ACT ALL ARTSY AND SHIT, BUT FROM NOW ON YOU’RE DONE WITH LIFE. ITS ALL DOWN HILL FROM HERE. WHEN YOU REACH THE DOORS OF DEATH IN YOUR OLD AGE, CRUSTY PYRITE PRICKS STILL FALLING FROM YOUR WRINKLES, THE HOODED MAN WILL CONFRONT YOU AND ASK YOU IF IT WAS WORTH IT, AND YOU WILL SAY NAY. YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN. YOU WILL NEVER LOVE AS YOU ONCE DID, RUN AS YOU ONCE DID, BE FREE AS YOU ONCE DID, FOR THE ITCH RIDDEN PRISON THAT IS NOW YOUR BODY HAS BEEN TAINTED BY THE LUST OF GLITTERING GRANULES OF ALL THAT IS UNHOLY.
I HOPE YOU’RE FUCKING HAPPY.